Hey everyone! I am taking a break from the writing speak today simply because mom thoughts and life are on my mind today. I am curious to know how many of you beat yourself up, struggle with feeling together, putting on the smile you don't feel like wearing, feel like you will never get it right or simply worry if you make the right decisions period. Well, I'm here to tell you, you are not alone.
I realize as a mom I beat myself up at least 20 times a day and that I believe that is actually a low number. You know this parenting thing isn't easy and it comes with no instruction manual. We literally have to get up, do what we have to and hope that we don't screw our kids up at the end of the day.
Being a mom is the single most exhausting and trying job I have ever had. On the other hand, it is also the most rewarding job I have ever had. My son challenges me in ways I never knew I could be. I didn't realize how much I could handle before him. I am working, taking care of him, trying to work on a novel, working on a blog, cleaning the house, paying bills, taking care of the dog, needing to make meals, get my son to school (which by the way is never on time) and after all that I attempt to find a few hours of sleep. Daily I remind myself of the multitude of tasks and then feel bad if I didn't play with my son more or take him out somewhere.
Here's the thing, though, ever since having my son life has challenged me and I can honestly say I am grateful for the challenges because he and those challenges strengthen me. When I am doubting myself or feeling lonely I look at him and tell myself there isn't anything I can't do if it's for him.
I realize that to have my dreams is just like being a mom, it requires sacrifice. Both means not getting to do what I want whenever I want and organizing my time wisely. This is not easy and some days there are tears shed behind closed doors, that is an honest truth but I also want to show my son that he can accomplish his dreams and whatever goal he has. My dream of writing is very real and I do it for him just as much as I do it for me. There are many people who think that once you have children, especially as a woman, that your life becomes impossible and it's over that accomplishing things is not possible. What many people who say that fail to remember that us as parents, especially moms, we have the most insane motivation that drives us crazy to keep us going until we make it happen.
Most days I am exhausted and anxious underneath the surface but I'll be damned if I am not determined or motivated to keep going even when I don't want to. So for all of you out there struggling with feeling like you get it right, if you're doing a good, if you deserve to feel overwhelmed or happy. I am here to tell you that you are getting right, you are doing a good job, you deserve to feel however you want including happy and that you are not alone. This parenting thing is not easy and you are not alone. We are always here for you all at Writely Me, feel free to reach out to us with an email or note.